Friday 3 May 2013

A word about discouragement.

I start this post having reached my first goal. I lost two pounds this week and as such have lost my first half a stone (or 8lbs if we're being really specific). This was the information I needed to hear to tell me that my work at losing weight back at university has been going well and that I can continue to lose weight and have fun with my friends. Next goal, is to have lost my first stone. We'll get there.

This is not why I have felt discouraged. I have the most amazing friends, and in general they have been so incredibly supportive. Have there been a few funny looks with Lucy and I whack out the scales at meal times? Yes. Have there been moments when people have not known how to support my efforts? Yes. That being said, at no point has anyone made me feel like what I'm doing is a waste of time. Until today.

As with many incidents at university this issue emerged with a conversation about alcohol. I am not a massive drinker. I have had my moments of excess but as a rule I don't have a need to drink on all that frequent a basis. I think that's because my parents raised me in a very Mediterranean fashion and as such alcohol has never seemed that exciting, it was simply always present. As such, in general I am not drinking because I don't want or need to use my points on alcohol when it could be used on something that I actually genuinely do want. Most people understand this explanation and just drop it. Today, however, a friend of mine decided to inform me that being "on a diet" doesn't work. This is great, when you're trying to change your lifestyle and at times feeling discouraged on your own. I don't necessarily like people telling me to my face that I am doing such a good job, but certainly the last thing I want is mot be told that it's a waste of time.

Fortunately, after I tore this person a text based new one, I could easily brush myself off and not let it affect me. I know that he meant no harm and this probably comes from him never having experienced a weight problem. Ultimately this post is not about him. This about all of the times that people get discouraged. Specifically, all of the times that people will tell you that they love you 'just the way you are'. Whilst that's amazing, and ultimately all that anyone really wants - acceptance- when you have actually committed yourself to improving yourself, for yourself and no one else, you just need to have someone say 'I will support you, whatever way that may be'.

To anyone trying to change their lifestyle, don't let anyone else get you down and to the people who think that they're only helping, remember that your helpfulness is directly proportional to the goal the person is trying to achieve and by all means, love us for who we are, whether we're changing things or not.

1 comment:

  1. I just want to say what an inspiration you are. You really are. This blog is absolutely incredible and has made me really reevaluate how I feel about myself. I love the way you want to lead a normal life, because that's exactly what I feel - I hate most diets and quick fix diet programmes because they make you eat (and eaten certain substances) that are entirely unrealistic to carry on for an extended period of time. I want to eat healthy, good (and most importantly tasty) food without feeling guilty and enjoy my life.
    Because of your blog post I have decided that I am going to start dance lessons again. I did them for 10 years and stopped when I was 15, something that I really regret doing. I've toyed with the idea of doing them again over the past few years but always thought I wouldn't be good enough (but mainly that I would be too big to do them). But I love to dance, so why shouldn't I do something I enjoy which also gets me fitter in the process!
    Thank you so much Florence, I will be following this blog to keep me inspired.
    p.s. you were INCREDIBLE in little shop of horrorrs!

    ReplyDelete